本期Esquire主题是How To Be A Man 2009。黄色部分本人觉得相当经典。看看怎么样做一个男人（吧）。

注意：JUST BEING MALE DOES NOT MAKE YOU A MAN 是雄性不代表是男人。

[转]

What Is a Man?

By Tom Chiarella

( http://www.esquire.com/features/what-is-a-man-0509 )

A man carries cash. A man looks out for those around him — woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things — a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds — engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.
注：男人一定喜欢他自己的工作，因为如果不喜欢，他还就会换掉，这不是权衡、比较、理性、耐性、责任的问题，这是逻辑，男人的。

A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.
注：男人不是不肯认错，应该认错，但是不要事无巨细都认错。

A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale breast, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the snatch, by the wrist, the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee. When his woman bends to pick up her underwear, he feels that thrum that only a man can feel.
注： …… …… …

A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.
注：很正常的事情不要嚷嚷。那样很娘！

A man looks out for children. Makes them stand behind him.

A man knows how to bust balls.

A man has had liquor enough in his life that he can order a drink without sounding breathless, clueless, or obtuse. When he doesn't want to think, he orders bourbon or something on tap.

Never the sauvignon blanc.

A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside.
注：有些时候，连007都会选择走开的，不是因为怯懦，是不再年少气盛，是要考虑后果。更重要的是，还有正事要做。

Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock someone, somewhere, on his ass.

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. He doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals.

A man gets the door. Without thinking.

He stops traffic when he must.

A man resists formulations, questions belief, embraces ambiguity without making a fetish out of it. A man revisits his beliefs. Continually. That's why men won't forever line up with conservatives, either.

A man knows his tools and how to use them — just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails.

A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw.

A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Drinking, playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.
注：Exactly。如果觉得闷或者空虚，是因为没有长大，这跟年龄没有关系。

He knows how to lose a month, also.
注：参考上一条。

A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.

A man is comfortable being alone. Loves being alone, actually. He sleeps.

Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.

A man loves driving alone most of all.

Style — a man has that. No matter how eccentric that style is, it is uncontrived. It's a set of rules.

He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity or the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight or how to figure a pitcher's ERA.

A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.
注：会认错的男人，真的好man，那怕不是真的。

A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this — to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. The hell if you know what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next.
注：翻译一下，男人在观察。有时候他会坐在一个拍卖会，明知道自己不会花半分钱，只是要目睹那种诱惑，还有别人的动机。有时候他会站在街上看人流。这谈不上静止，更谈不上典藏。这也谈不上沉思，更谈不上考究。男人折射着他观察到的世界，积累敏锐度。这都从各方面造就着他。没有人教过他 —— 沉默，计算，观察。就这样子，每每在这样的时刻，男人就像只在动物园里的动物：既是被困的，又是自由的。此时此刻，你的视线不可以离开这样子的男人。你不应该。天晓得他正在想什么，他是谁，还有他下一秒会干什么。

他在干嘛？发呆？装深邃？还是，呵，等待着爆发？琢磨得透，还是男人？

幸福的秘密是什么 [节选]

全文在此：http://user.qzone.qq.com/772937290/blog/1237945392

幸福究竟是有什么样的元素所构成，那些一生寻找幸福的人们，为何总是无法触摸到幸福的衣角，那一扇门，怎样可以打开？

这是一个秘密，这个秘密是关于你的，你需要知道，为何很努力的人，并不一定成功，也不一定幸福？为何那么多聪明人，活得却不快乐？

而成功，并且幸福的人，似乎，总是有很好的运气。

有一个很聪明的孩子，很喜欢吃鱼，希望每天都有鱼吃，于是，到一座深山里，找了一个神秘人拜师。神秘人接受了这个可爱的聪明的小孩。

每一天，神秘人并没有教这个孩子如何抓鱼，或者钓鱼，只是不断地在挖一个大池子。
时间一天天过去，刚开始，孩子很尊重神秘人，陪着一齐挖池子，也学了学钓鱼技巧，渐渐地，因为并没有吃到鱼，孩子开始焦急起来，终于有一天，孩子很不耐烦地问：“你不能够给我足够的鱼，我要离开你，自己去钓。我要走了”。

神秘人没有阻拦，目送着这个聪明的孩子。当孩子远去的时候，那个池子已经建好，上游的河水自然的流进了池子，鱼也流了进来，没有多久，整个池了，充满了鱼，随时都可以轻易捞出一群来。
　　
神秘人说：世人只知道显示自己的精明能干，却很少有耐心掌握规律。孩子虽然聪明，却没有福气，有福气的人，都是有智慧的，都是懂得接受的人。

智慧，是一个空谷，如同这个池子，并不是努力抓鱼或者钓鱼，而是当你准备好足够大的池子，鱼就会快乐地流进来。

知识，其实，根本不需要学习，只需要让它流进来。幸福也不需要追求，只需要，让它流进来。

可惜，有福气的人，实在太少，人们并不知道如何准备一个幸福的池子。

联想起最近在读的Inner Simplicity, Elaine St. James 台译《心灵简单就是美》，体会更加深刻。当我们拥有，手提电脑，Blackberry，无限上网，Google，msn，ipod，全球通手机，信用卡……我似乎拥有最方便的移动电子设备和支付工具，似乎真的在指尖就能触碰和拥有全世界。然而，我们真的拥有了么？就算是拥有了，我们是更安心，还是更担心了呢？这些都是生活必需的么？这些够用了么？我们还是不是在新科技推出以后不断的更换和添加？

不知道这样的比喻贴不贴切，以前我们小的时候在装电脑，不断花钱去升级换代，在原本的基础上追求更多更强功能与更快的速度。如今装砌电脑已经不再流行，我们却在装砌我们自己，不断地往身上安插有线、无线和蓝牙的设备。人最终变成了一个硬件而已。

可是，能使我们满足的并不是靠这些，反而是一件一件地取走这些。我试着关掉音乐，熄掉电脑、摘下耳机，重新倾听外界的声音，轻轻松松，了无牵挂地跑步。停止在床上看书的习惯，用冥想来取代之。关掉电视和手机，跟爱人聊天（以后会试试），甚至不聊天，两个人静静地吃饭，用心灵来交流，据说会听得到更多。……这样的法则书里面提供了100条。

支持新简朴运动，唯有让心灵留白，生活才能美丽自在。